Who’s afraid of the big bad homos?

By | 2013/05/21

The owners of a New Zealand guesthouse who refused to let a lesbian couple share a bed are standing firm despite threats.

The Age, “You’re not doing this in my home: lesbian bed ban sparks threats and abuse”, May 21 2013.

That’s the introduction to a story about a lodge run in Whangerei, New Zealand.

The lodge in particular is Pilgrim Planet, who have updated their website recently to fairly stridently point out that their ‘values’ are no longer in alignment with the values espoused by the New Zealand government.

And by dang, they’re not going to have any of it happen in their lodge. After all:

“Everyone knows what homosexual activity is. It’s quite clear if two guys rent one bed you know what’s going to happen. We have to protect our other guests.”

Mrs Ruskin, quoted in the above article.

Clearly they’ll be hammering all night long like carpenters building a tasteful credenza, and convert the entire population of the lodge to homosexual behaviour!

Pilgrim Planet Lodge Website, 2013-05-21


I’ve grabbed a snapshot the current frontpage of the website, and having read it a few times, I’ve got some changes to suggest.

Old Fashioned Values

We probably need to clear up this “old fashioned” values bit. It’s very, very open. Does this mean warrior gentlemen can bring female slaves they’ve captured in war to rape in their assigned rooms, thus forcing marriage upon the poor women?

Or maybe they mean that based on old fashioned values, they’ll also prohibit interracial couples from staying?

They should also be advertising what fabrics they’re using in their rooms. I’d hate to go and stay there only to find that they’re using a cotton/polyester mix, for that would be an abomination.

Will they clarify whether guests who wish to strictly follow bible scenes are allowed to visit? That’s traditional values, right?

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Ezekiel 23:20.


One of their main selections at the top of the page is “Activities”. Unfortunately and rather confusingly at the moment, this links to another page that mentions all the things you can do in Whangarei. This seems to be an oversight on the part of the developers of the website, because clearly it should just link to something along the following lines:



After all, we can’t have anyone thinking that they may be able to get up to anything that violates those traditional values, right?

Room Descriptions

Currently the room descriptions say:

5 modern soundproof, interestingly decorated bedrooms.

This probably should be updated to:

5 modern, soundproof, sin-free bedrooms.

Because that’s what they meant, right?

Internet Facilities

The Lodge lists that it has:

Free WiFi and guest computer

It probably should be modified to say:

Free WiFi and guest computer which must not be used to access gay or lesbian porn. Also, same sex location based dating SmartPhone apps must not be used on the free WiFi.


The location states:

Ideally located for exploring Whangarei city and superb Mair Park bush/river walkway on foot.

To ensure people get the drift, it should be:

Ideally located for exploring Whangarei city and superb Mair Park bush/river walkway on foot and doing no homosexual activities in the park.


The gorgeous little sanctimonious footnote is a wonder to behold:

Essentially parliament’s concern is matters legal and the peoples’ concern is matters moral. When these line up we have peace and harmony but when politicians legislate against morality, a disconnect occurs. Unjust laws need to be questioned for if we fail to do this we will be corrupted by the law instead of edified and protected by it.

Yes! Just like when interracial marriages were permitted!

But seriously, it’s a shame they didn’t think of putting this tidbit on their website earlier. According to the Way Back machine, their website sidebar lamentably was just the following in February:

Way Back Planet PilgrimYou’d think, given the discrepancy between the current and previous version of the page, that homosexuals in New Zealand were thoughtful, considerate practicers of chastity, determined not to have sex until they could do so in wedlock! Having met a few homosexuals in New Zealand, I can attest this is not the case. Bless their innocent little hearts at the Pilgrim Planet, they clearly hadn’t thought about out-of-wedlock homosexual sex!

There, those changes should clear it all up, shouldn’t they?

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