Australian Bureau of Statistics: Dingo Got My Census

Regardless of whether it’s #CensusFail or #CensusApocalypse, it’s fair to say the Australian 2016 Census worked as well and looked as good as diarrhoea in zero gravity. Over the course of the last 24 hours we’ve heard just about every possible scenario and cause behind the failure of the census system. Hackers launching distributed denial of service attacks… Read More »

Cry me a river, John

John Howard, ex-prime minister and malevolent architect of the current state of laws blocking marriage equality in Australia (which, it’s worth remembering, required only an act of parliament to pass – no pesky plebiscites involved!) has come out swinging today: “I do think one thing that has to be addressed is the question of proper protection… Read More »

Look at how powerful we are

By all accounts as a reaction to seeing two men kiss, an angry and cowardly individual killed over 50 people and injured the same or more. Members of the GBLTI community and undoubtedly some friends of the community too. Look at how powerful we are. Cowards are so terrified of the idea of us having equality, of us being seen, and… Read More »

NSW Pioneers Lock-In Laws

Following on the heels of lock-out laws and current plans to allow NSW police to ban citizens from doing just about anything for any reason, NSW will shortly be introducing lock-in laws, requiring citizens to stay at home and either sleep, or sit quietly in the dark between dawn and dusk. A spokesperson for the Minister for Ethically… Read More »

“Good government starts today” announcement expected any day now

Sources close to people unrelated to the Australian government are hinting we’ll be seeing a “good government starts today” announcement any day now from the Turnbull government.    At around six months into his tenure as Australia’s 37th prime minister in five years, the expectations are high that Malcolm Turnbull will start good government soon.… Read More »

Government announces sweeping protections for bullies

BREAKING: The Federal Government today announced sweeping new protections for bullies in schools, designed to counteract a growing trend towards tolerance and acceptance being seen in younger generations. “For too long bullies have been oppressed, their civil rights to abuse and taunt removed from them by insidious movements founded on faggy notions like ‘inclusion’ and ‘friendship’”,… Read More »

Against marriage equality?

With the Australian Federal Government hell-bent on running a plebiscite on marriage equality, the various lobbies and individuals who don’t want to see marriage equality achieved in the country have already come out swinging. I have a simple message for them: Shut up; your opinion is pointless. At a point where the ACL insist they… Read More »

Would PetER have been treated differently to PetA?

During the height of the shambolic shenanigans that so marked the all-too-long Abbott tenure as Prime Minister of Australia, Tony Abbott accused his colleagues of sexism in their concerns about his chief of staff, Peta Credlin. This morning Mr Abbott said Ms Credlin would not be so heavily scrutinised if she was a male. “Do you really think… Read More »

Operation GrowOld Instituted To Remove Children From Detention

Reacting angrily to claims they are wilfully imprisoning children within hellish detention centres situated in poverty stricken countries where they are subject to rape, physical abuse, anguish and complete dehumanisation, the Australian Federal Government has announced its latest plan to reduce to zero the number of asylum seeker children being held. “Our bold new plan will ensure no child is left in a detention centre”,… Read More »

Majority LNP MPs support marriage equality to annoy Cory Bernardi

Exclusive polling has revealed that personal opinions in the matter aside, the majority of Liberal/National Ministers now support marriage equality just knowing how much it passing would annoy Senator Cory Bernardi. “Look, enough is enough” said one MP under the promise of strict confidence, “Sure, giving same-sex attracted couples the right to marry is a matter of basic… Read More »