While the hardline conservative media around the world has for some time descended into baseless allegations and pandering to conspiracy nuts, the left-wing media has largely left this strategy untouched.
The newly formed EVangelical Idealogical Left Media Cooperative (“EVIL Media Coop”) today issued a press release saying the “gloves are off” and their intent to pilot a counter-strategy based on the hardline conservative approach during the run-up to and then throughout the next US Presidential Election.
“For years the conservative so-called ‘news’ organisations have aired the most baseless and inappropriate allegations about more moderate politicians and their supporters”, said an EVIL spokesperson. “This has included unchallenged allegations that ‘Obama Care’ would result in Death Panels, that gun legislation will somehow see a rise in violence in the United States, and that Orly Taitz has a real theory rather than simply being a blithering idiot. Some of them even insist peanut butter and chocolate go together. Madness! It’s time to retaliate in the only way these people understand.”
To spearhead this campaign, EVIL is encouraging Cooperative members to focus on Dose Of Own Medicine (“DOOM”) headlines that condense outrageously conflated concerns and farcical questions for people who need their political opinions formed by punchy soundbites.
Since the Republican nomination still an open race, EVIL are currently testing DOOM headlines against a series of focus groups in a variety of areas within the United States, concentrating primarily on hot-spots of conservative voters. Sample DOOM headlines purportedly include:
- “Donald Trump: Billionaire Owned By Foreign Interests Or Man Under Control Of Evil Toupee?”
- “Mike Huckabee: Kevin Spacey Lookalike Or Secret Darwinist?”
- “Ben Carson: Real Christian Or So Fixated On Egyptian Pyramids He Worships Ra?”
- “Carly Fiorina: Simple Business Woman Or Secret Reptiloid?”
- “Rand Paul: Name Sounds Like RuPaul, Are You Sure He Isn’t A Drag Artist?”
- “Chris Christie: Governor of New Jersey or Unnamed Extra On Sopranos?”
- “Jeb Bush: Worthy Successor To George W. Bush Or Even Worse Painter?”
- “Rick Santorum: Wholesome Or Have You Googled ‘Santorum’ Yet?”
With just over six months before a Republican candidate is decided, and eleven months total before the 2016 presidential election, EVIL are confident they can guide affiliate organisations with enough DOOM headlines to significantly confuse voters currently buying into the outrageous claims of the extremely conservative media base.