So goodbye Alice in Wonderland
Goodbye yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
I did not find paradise
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting
What’s been missing in my life
– Jewel, “Goodbye Alice in Wonderland”
We now have a house to go to in Melbourne, and so this chapter of my life is rapidly coming to a close.
It’s actually been a fairly lengthy chapter. After all, I left my home town, Parkes, in 1992, and other holidays, I’ve never been back – I stopped living there all those years ago. So I’ve been living in the Newcastle/Central Coast region for the longer period of my life – by one year, but still, the majority of my life has now been spent within an 80km radius of our current house.
When I first blogged about the move I talked about the realisation that a comfort zone can, sometimes, become a rut. The greater reflection of how this can happen occurred to me when I realised I’ve never lived anywhere I actually wanted to for the lifestyle. I’ve always lived somewhere for an externally imposed reason:
- Parkes – I was born there, that’s where my family were;
- Newcastle – I went to University there;
- Central Coast – It made working in Sydney convenient.
The lyrics for the first chorus in Jewel’s song “Goodbye, Alice in Wonderland” struck me a while ago as consistent with the move. I’ve lived in this general area for 19 years, but never until recently questioned why I was living in the area. Don’t get me wrong – I have some great friends here; in particular, it’s going to hurt leaving Kimma, but my reasons for being here have never actually been my own. So the lyrics aren’t a reflection of this region being a bad one – just simply a reflection that it’s not the region for me. (Or indeed, for us.)
Melbourne is the first move I’m ever making as a lifestyle choice. I’m not doing it because it’ll make work more convenient, or make studying possible, etc. This time my need is a personal one, rather than an imposed (or imagined imposed) one. That makes a huge difference.
So, Goodbye Alice in Wonderland.