Responding to a spate of bigoted and ideologically unsound ravings from lunatics infesting Fox News, the Surgeon General of the United States today advised that the entire station in all its forms is unsafe for anyone with a brain.
Recent insane gibberish from the Fox News team included such “facts” as:
- The county of Cheshire in the UK is entirely made of cheese
- People can only walk backwards in Australia
- Africa is the world’s smallest country
- The original founders of Band Aid were Sonny and Cher
- President Barack Obama employs a legion of flying monkeys to follow the eccentric billionaire around and fling excrement into Donald Trump’s mouth any time he speaks
- Clean energy initiatives are a Reptillian initiative to destroy the human immune system
- Every time you vaccinate a child, a kitten dies
The Surgeon General is currently considering legislation that will require Fox News to use plain packaging on all its advertising, and include a warning that prolonged exposure may result in brain paralysis (like brain freeze, but irreversible) and plummeting IQ levels.