Millions of organisations around the world perform yearly employee satisfaction surveys. Employees are asked sometimes hundreds of questions to work out what makes them happy about their job, what leaves them unhappy, and what they’re neutral about. Is it the people they work with? Is it their work/life balance? Is it the number of levels of management between them and the top? Is it their options for career advancement within the company? Is it training? Is it the perks and bonuses? Is it how valued they feel in the organisation? Is it how they’re managed? Is it how they’re trusted?
Management consultants are contracted at huge sums to provide advice on increasing employee satisfaction without compromising productivity.
Neuro-linguistic programmers and other wanks are contracted at even bigger sums to “evaluate” the psychology of the answers of the satisfaction surveys and how to answer them in the most positive way possible.
HR people probe the motivations of people who leave to find out whether the company needs to do anything different in future.
Employee satisfaction. It’s big business.
And in 9 times out of 10 it’d be solved by one simple change to procurement: 2-ply toilet paper.
A happy employee is an employee who doesn’t need to wipe poop from their fingers.