Billions of humans facing dawning realisation they live in awful alternate reality

By | 2017/04/24

Horrific dystopian alternate realities are a mainstay of science fiction. Star Trek notably returned again and again (and again, and again, and again and again and again, and then a few more times just to annoy you) to the Mirror Universe, where evil people grew goaties, left was right, dogs were rats, and deodorant only came in one scent: surströmming.

The great myopia accorded to science fiction viewers was the notion that it was the alternate realities that were awful. You could enjoy an alternate reality story because, well, it was alternate. It was what the universe would be like if something awful happened.

Like Donald Trump.

Apocalyptic City

Yes, it’s clear: billions of humans around Mirror Earth are starting to realise that they, in fact, inhabit the awful alternate reality so often featured in a variety of science fiction stories: the one where the crazed loon whose only grandeur is that of delusions has seized power thanks to sinister, shady powers on other continents.

Indeed, horrified inhabitants of Mirror Earth are starting to realise that goaties and surströmming scented deodorant were really the least of their worries. Mirror Earth is turning into a Battle of The Buttheads, with Trump, May, Putin, Assange, Lil Kim Jong Un all desperate to be named Chief Butthead.

Struggling to prove that science is still relevant, planetologists are now joining with philosophers to track down when, exactly, things started to go wrong, so that a crack team of quirky and sinister 11 year-old twin girls can be sent back to the past to assassinate the most appropriate person. Current theories are focused on Florence Foster Jenkins, the entire cast of Plan 9 From Outer Space, and Hillary Briss. (Briss, despite being an alleged fictional character, is currently odds-on favourite as the inflexion point where everything started to go wrong.) Meanwhile, Stargate fans are frantically searching for a wormhole generator and starting to plot solar flares in order to send the assassin twins back to the appropriately determined juncture.