Darren and I consider the start of our relationship proper to be 30 November 1996.
That means as of today, as I type this post, we’ve been together for 5,506 days. Yet somehow, we don’t qualify for marriage.
On the other hand:
- Sinead O’Connor announced today that her and her latest husband split after 16 days (in which they only lived together for 7 days);
- Kim Kardashian stayed married for 72 days;
- Britney Spears stayed married for less 3 days (55 hours, to be exact);
- Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra were married for 9 days;
- Lisa Marie Presley could only manage to stay married to Nicolas Cage for 107 days;
- Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock got the big D after 122 days;
- Drew Barrymore and Tom Green hitched their wagons for 163 days, though that was an improvement on her first marriage which lasted just 42 days;
- Liz Taylor’s shortest (but by no means only) marriage was 205 days long.
Let’s graph those relationships:
That’s right, our relationship is the Pacman of relationships against those marriages.
And people still want to hold up the notion of marriage being exclusively between men and women as a way of preserving it?
What a joke.