Monthly Archives: January 2015

Tony Abbott Blame Game

Tony Abbott today emphatically identified the person responsible for the government’s fall in popularity over the last 12+ months. Faced with an angry caller on talkback radio, Tony Abbott artfully dodged all responsibility and made it clear who was to blame: Andrew, the Liberal voter and talkback radio caller who had confronted the prime minister.… Read More »

Tony Abbott switches to worm diet

Blithely unconcerned about his sinking popularity, Tony Abbott appeared before the nation’s press today at Parliament House and defiantly insisted he’d “go and eat worms”. “Nobody likes me”, said Mr Abbott, “Everybody hates me”, he continued, shrugging seemingly unworried – “Think I’ll go and eat worms.” Quite the connoisseur, Mr Abbott insisted he intended to… Read More »

Chet Faker ironically becomes too mainstream for Hipsters

Hipster bars across Melbourne and Sydney have been reeling in their latest existential crisis as it becomes increasingly apparent their beloved hipster artist, Chet Faker, had become too mainstream as a result of his appearance on the Ellen Degeneres show. “His dulcet tones, reminiscent of R&B, combined with slightly discordant electronica, random sounds and even more… Read More »

Pope goes the weasel

In the wake of the religious inspired attacks in Paris, France, Pope Francis ruined the progressive image he had been fostering by insisting that “One cannot provoke; one cannot insult other people’s faith; one cannot make fun of faith.” (Photo from Wikipedia’s Pope Francis page.) Putting it politely, Francis is a blithering idiot to say… Read More »

The collateral damage bully

When we think of workplace bullying, there’s a few “classic” styles we tend to concentrate on, or that immediately come to mind, such as: The coworker intent on causing you grief to make him or herself look better The boss with a grudge The coworker with a grudge These are easier to spot, but that doesn’t mean… Read More »

The Peeping Tom State

There’s a peeping tom in your neighbourhood. He skulks around your block, day or night secretly opening and reading every letter you get, and always ready to hold a glass against your walls to hear what you say. Oh he says it’s all for your own welfare. To make sure no-one is doing anything that might cause you harm. To make… Read More »

Fox News Declared Unsafe for People with Brains

Responding to a spate of bigoted and ideologically unsound ravings from lunatics infesting Fox News, the Surgeon General of the United States today advised that the entire station in all its forms is unsafe for anyone with a brain. “Indeed”, the Surgeon General announced at a specially called news conference, “We’ll go so far as… Read More »

Shock as crowd’s boos not unanimous towards Tony Abbott

Picture it: Melbourne, January 9, 2015. Tony Abbott stands in front of a sports stadium filled with more than 80,000 patrons for the kick-off of the AFC, the region’s premier soccer event. The boos were overpowering. Yet, oddly for many Australians, not unanimous. Independent spectators noted at least 13 people in the crowd did not boo or jeer Tony Abbott… Read More »

Cowardism strikes Paris

A shocking act of Cowardism struck Paris earlier today with the senseless attack on the Charlie Hebdo offices. Terrified gunmen, unable to cope with their unrelenting fear of ideas contrary to theirs gunned down several innocent people who happened to hold differing opinions. Unable to countenance other world views existing, and that those world views have a sense of humour, the gunmen attempted to… Read More »

Pundits, analysts predict between -33, and 17 trillion Apple Watches to be sold

With consumer and industry anticipation for the Apple Watch continuing to grow, tech pundits and financial analysts are clamouring everywhere to estimate the number of devices Apple will sell, both in the first 24 hours after release, and in the time before the Sun turns into a red giant and converts the Earth into a molten ruin.… Read More »